How I Met My Husband (+what I’ve learned over the last ten years)

I still remember the day I met Corey – ten years ago this month. Now, if you had asked either one of us later that night if we had met our future spouse, we would have certainly said no. That first meeting was completely unremarkable. Our story is not one of love at first sight.

I was twenty-one the summer we met and had just returned from a May-mester study abroad to Italy. I had a great job for the summer and my best girl friends from my college sorority and I had all rented apartments to stay in town for the summer. It was going to be our summer of fun.

And, it really, truly was one of the most fun, carefree times of my life. On the night that we first met, I was out for drinks with my friends and one of them set her sights on Corey’s roommate. I was essentially the wing-girl and headed on over to help her spark up a conversation. I couldn’t tell you one thing we discussed on that first meeting but yet here it is ten years later and we are married!

When Corey and I got married we were the first of most of our friends to tie the knot so we had to figure it all out as we went. I definitely don’t feel like we’ve got it perfected by an means – but do any of us ever really have a relationship all figured out? Relationships and marriages are constantly evolving.

Last year, I shared some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned throughout our marriage and today I’ll share a couple more that my twenty-one year old self just had to learn as I went.

One.

Loyalty is the single most important quality when choosing a spouse. Having been together for so long now, we have seen a lot of relationships around us fall apart. From friends of ours in college who were in serious relationships to the first couple of our friends to get separated or divorced. While there are so many reasons that relationships don’t work out or aren’t meant to be, trust and loyalty are such a big one. I feel like our loyalty to one another is one of the pillars of our relationship. Its such a sign of respect towards your partner and the foundation for trust in a marriage.

Two.

Sometimes you won’t like your spouse. Of course you will always love them but over the years there may be days where you don’t like them very much. Its easy to feel overwhelmed with every day stresses, the demands of your jobs, parenting, and taking care of a home. Little things (like finding a pair of dirty socks on the kitchen counter after a long day at work) may feel like the last straw. Every relationship will have good and bad days and no one (neither you or your partner) is perfect. Take the good with the bad and just keep trying to be your best for one another.

Three.

Along with marriage comes service. Those first few years were pretty easy. Keeping a seven hundred square foot apartment tidy when we were both gone all day for work was super simple. We both had far more energy and far fewer demands on our time. Our sex drives were higher (sorry Mom – you might want to X out now – haha!) and it was much easier to get all giddy about doing sweet or romantic things for one another when no one else needed us. Acts of service are such an essential way to show our partner that we care and sometimes we just have to man/woman up and do something selfless for the people who mean the most to us.

Four.

Relationships are work. I think we all know this but its hard to really understand it in those care free early days where everything just comes easily. Marriage is a commitment that you have to recommit to every day. Sometimes it will take a conscious effort to remember to extend patience, grace, and empathy and to make sure you are showing your love when life gets too demanding. Compliments from your spouse are just the best and it feels just as good to give them as it does to get them.

Now, just for the fun of it…let’s take a look at a few more pictures from those early days “before the blog.”

Let’s Chat: What pieces of advice would you have given your twenty-year-old self about relationships?